A Cult?

In my last post I talked about how the blog owner (BO) is claiming to launch her smear campaign against her sister's "cult" message board not to be mean, but to "glorify God" even though her methods are certainly less than savory. 

Let's start with, "My sister was led astray...." in the first post on the blog. The main assumption in this statement and in later statements throughout her blog appears to be that her sister is somehow incapable of choosing to leave her reportedly abusive husband without needing to be "led astray" or "brainwashed" by a "cult-like mentality." Wow. Online cults do exist, but they're generally offshoots of established in real life cults and not message boards about attachment parenting. It's also relatively difficult to control someone's else's behavior over the internet. 

This sister apparently did have some "in real life" GCM friends, but we are not told how many or even how often she spent time with them. Making a leap from, "My sister left her abusive husband" to "She must be involved in a cult because she has some friends and goes on a message board!" seems alarmist to me, at best, so let's see what else the BO has to say about her assumptions:

What were some of the other "signs" the BO noticed that allegedly pointed towards a cult?

Well, first of all her sister apparently withdrew from most of her old friends and family members and didn't choose to spend time with ("cast aside") people who disagreed with her parenting style. I'm at a bit of a loss about how the BO could've found out that her sister had withdrawn from "most" of her old friends. I certainly do not know *most* of the friends - old or new - that my siblings have ever had (and yes, at least one of my siblings is a sister). This knowledge that the BO seems confident in having seems to me to be excessively controlling for a sibling.

Another thing that the BO hasn't seemed to consider is that becoming withdrawn from friends in general and family members can be a sign of being in a controlling and abusive relationship. Low self-confidence, Depression, and Stress/Anxiety, which can ALL result from being involved in or getting out of an abusive relationship, are all listed as possible reasons for Social Withdrawal or Relationship Conflicts. 

Perhaps the BO doesn't have as much information about the situation as she thinks she does and was misinformed as to why her sister stopped being around certain people - most women in abusive relationships aren't terribly open about the situation out of fear or embarrassment. Perhaps old friends in her life were beginning to inquire about signs of abuse they were seeing that she wasn't ready to hear yet. Maybe there was so much stress in her life already that the sister couldn't handle the added stress of being around people who were vocal in disagreeing with her beliefs and lifestyle. 

The possibilities are endless! Why on earth would someone jump to the assumption of "cult?"

Moving on - Her sister's theology changed and, presumably grew, over the years. This is honestly the most baffling reason of all, to my mind. One of the signs of a cult is an unchanging theology that members adhere to with fanatical devotion. On the other hand, growing in faith and gaining a deeper understanding of theology is a healthy progression of faith and is likely to cause changes in lifestyle and theology as time goes on. Not everyone progresses in faith at the same rate either. 

The Bible is very clear in 1 Corinthians 3:2 as well as Hebrews 5:11-14 that believers are to move from the "milk" of the gospel to the "meat" of theology. As with a baby too young to digest solid food properly, someone who was still subsisting on gospel "milk" would likely not be able to digest the "meat" of theology completely or properly and may not understand why certain beliefs are held by others.

The sister also apparently had some interpersonal issues with some of the members of the GCM message board. The BO reportedly knows this by hearing about it from her sister. Just going by the public new post page, GCM appears to be a rather large and active message board - something that the BO alludes to as well - and it would seem much more cult-like to me if someone *never* had any conflicts whatsoever with other people in the "cult."

The BO talks a fair amount about something called Dress Your Truth (DYT) which is something that she reports her sister to have been interested in. Sticking to the surface information about DYT, the parts that don't in any way violate the GCM statement of beliefs, it appears to be a way to figure out what clothes are flattering on different types of people. For anyone who has a job that involves looking professional, it would seem to be an excellent resource. 

Vanity and belonging to a cult are not the only reasons someone might want to look nice and dress in a flattering manner. Goodness knows, the sister could've been trying to *save* her marriage by trying to please her (reportedly) abusive husband by dressing more nicely.

Of course the BO offers no actual proof that her sister was even interested in DYT to an unhealthy degree... the sister picked up some fashion advice from a new friend and she and her friends apparently went and got some piercings. Okay. People who aren't in cults do those things all the time. It's certainly not proof of belonging to a cult, but it could possibly indicate the sorts of changes in behavior that can come with getting out of an abusive relationship.

The BO also alludes to some "too personal" reasons for thinking that her sister was in a cult. If those "too personal" reasons are anything like the reasons she has chosen to share with us, I'm simply not inclined to give them much weight.